


Opaque Window

by fragilecapricornpanic



Series: PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters [66]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves Friendship, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Good Sibling Diego Hargreeves, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Minor Diego Hargreeves/Eudora Patch, No Incest, No Slash, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Pre-Canon, Protective Diego Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26452039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilecapricornpanic/pseuds/fragilecapricornpanic
Summary: Klaus leaned between the seats to intensely stare at Diego, obnoxiously closely. Diego shoved a hand over Klaus’ face to try and get him to shuffle back. Klaus childishly licked it. Diego recoiled so intensely he nearly knocked the window out with his elbow. “You’re disgusting!” Diego yelled, looking at his hand like Klaus had the plague, AIDS, and leprosy all at once. “You know I have to know now that you won’t tell me!” Klaus moaned, violently wiggling Diego’s headrest around. “It’s reverse psychology... or something!” he exclaimed. Ben snorted mockingly, so Klaus kicked backwards through him.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Eudora Patch
Series: PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters [66]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869709
Kudos: 59





	Opaque Window

“You know they’re going to send you to prison at some point, right?” Diego passive aggressively inquired, giving his brother a judgemental glance through the rear view mirror. Klaus shrugged nonchalantly, chewing on what Diego assumed were some of the drugs he’d rushed off to buy as soon as they’d left the precinct. The sight made Diego cringe, the pills must taste so bitter and chalky. “Where am I dropping you at?” he grumbled, eager to have this meeting over with. Klaus made a confused squeak and then gulped. “Your place?” he murmured, sounding like Diego hadn’t already told him that wasn’t happening. “You can’t.” Diego replied sternly “For real this time.” he added on, knowing he’d pretty much made the word _”no”_ meaningless given all the times he’d said no and still let Klaus come over. 

Ben had a feeling Diego not passing over his new address was because of the woman he was dating. Ben certainly wasn’t going to tell Klaus that. “I promise I won’t steal anything!” Klaus whined, stomping his foot petulantly. Ben and Diego both scoffed, causing Klaus to give them dirty looks. “Okay, fine. _Maybe_ I was going to,” he admitted reluctantly “but I won’t now!” Klaus pleaded, pouting stupidly. Ben rolled his eyes, knowing his brother was bare faced lying. Diego pulled over to the closest spot, looking quite nervous. Ben was eager to find out what was going on. Did he live with his girlfriend?

Since Diego had no idea where to take Klaus, he decided to park up until his brother had made his mind up about a location. “It’s not because of the stealing,” he stated tiredly “well, it’s partly to do with the stealing.” Diego corrected himself, since he knew Klaus would interpret that as permission to rob him. He drummed a rhythm on his steering wheel, feeling incredibly awkward. “Well what then?!” Klaus yelped impatiently. “Just tell me where I’m giving you a ride to.” Diego deflected, despite knowing Klaus wasn’t going to shut up until he got an answer. 

Groaning dramatically, Klaus leaned between the seats to stare at his brother obnoxiously closely. When he still didn’t offer any explanation, Klaus simply moved closer and intensified his eye contact. Diego shoved a hand over Klaus’ face to try and get him to shuffle back. Klaus childishly licked it. Diego recoiled so intensely he nearly knocked the window out with his elbow. “You’re fucking disgusting!” Diego yelled, looking at his hand like Klaus had the plague, AIDS, and leprosy all at once. “You know I have to know now that you won’t tell me!” Klaus moaned, violently wiggling Diego’s headrest around. Diego looked like he was going to shove Klaus again, but halted suddenly and glanced back down to his contaminated hand. “It’s reverse psychology...” Klaus waved an uncertain hand around “...or something!” Ben snorted mockingly, so Klaus kicked backwards through him. “I know that makes you feel weird too, moron.” Ben snapped back at him grumpily.

Desperate not to be licked again, Diego knew he’d have to tell him. “We moved in together.” he bashfully explained, feeling wildly uncomfortable. Diego shoved himself as far against the window as possible, glaring disgustedly at Klaus from the corner of his eyes. “Please don’t lick me.” he winced apprehensively. 

“You and the sexy lady friend?!” Klaus exclaimed, calling her that purely because he knew it pissed Diego off. Diego clenched his jaw and nodded minutely. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?! You guys are more on again off again than a whore’s panties!” he crudely quipped, waving his arm up and down animatedly. He did genuinely mean what he’d said, though. They were so hot and cold, this sounded disastrous. “You’re the one who goes around doing anything with a pulse!” Diego replied defensively, throwing his hand up angrily but quickly retracting it when he got remotely near Klaus’ mouth. Ouch. That comment hurt. He already got enough judgement from Ben. Klaus forced a giggle, though he probably looked quite unnerving since his face was expressionless. Klaus slumped back into his seat, crossing his arms huffily. “Why won’t you let me meet her?” he murmured, his voice muffled by nibbling on his nails. 

Diego shot Klaus a sarcastic glare through the mirror, them both knowing exactly why Klaus wasn’t allowed to meet her. A twang of guilt hit Diego when he saw Klaus’ mopey face. Diego cleared his throat, wishing he had the social skills or emotional intelligence to apologise for his remark... even though it was fucking true. “You know why.” he murmured, glancing to the car’s clock as he wondered how goddamn long it would take Klaus to finally give him an address. “Can I at least know her name?!” Klaus whined desperately. There was no way in hell he was finding out her name, Eudora was too distinctive - and Klaus got arrested far too frequently. Even though Eudora promised she’d get someone else to deal with Klaus, Diego was still worried. His brother would be unable to hold himself back if they crossed paths. “Nope.” Diego grumbled decisively.

This was killing Klaus! He needed to know! “We’re not going to be running in the same circles, Diego!” he cried out, once again shoving himself in between the front seats. Diego flinched backwards, banging his head on the window. Did he really think Klaus’ spit was _that_ gross?! Prick. Klaus frowned as he noticed Diego looking unbelievably sheepish. Klaus rapidly scanned his vision across his brother’s cringing face. “ _Are we_?” he murmured softly, feeling terribly confused. Diego hesitated in answering. “Why the hell are you dating someone like me?!” he yelled, repeatedly whacking Diego on the head “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Klaus harshly shook Diego’s headrest with despair, majorly pissed off that his brother would be so goddamn stupid. Even Klaus didn’t want to date someone like him.

”She’s not-“ Diego hesitantly batted Klaus’ hands from his headrest “-she’s not a _junkie_ , do you really think I’d date someone like you?!” he grunted, scrunching his face up in revulsion.

Klaus groaned dramatically once again, flinging himself to lie down across the backseats, banging his fists up and down with frustration. Ben quickly lunged up and phased through to the front seat, scowling at his seance brother. Although... Ben realised he actually didn’t mind, he wanted front row seats to whatever this confession was going to be.

“Stop being so goddamn vague!” Klaus roared, sounding like he would literally die if he didn’t get an answer right this second. “She’s in the police academy!” Diego blurted, shoving his head onto his hands that were tightly clutching the steering wheel. Klaus gasped with outrage, fiercely shooting back up into sitting. “And you didn’t think to tell me I could get out of being arrested?!” he squawked. Diego held back a chuckle of disbelief, he hadn’t expected that to have been the reason why Klaus was mad. “You know she can’t do that, asshole.” Diego responded, raising an eyebrow at his brother. Klaus scoffed dismissively and rolled his eyes. “Oh please, she totally can. You can get out of being arrested for much less than that.” Klaus stated confidently, sounding like he knew this from experience. “Do you know how many times I’ve been let go just by suc-“ Diego frantically shoved his hands over his ears. “Can you just give me the goddamn address?” he yelled at the top of his voice to drown out whatever Klaus was oversharing. He was still trying to recover from Klaus unwarrantedly letting Diego know being choked got him off. This conversation was giving him goddamn flashbacks... though at least the last confession hadn’t been quite so depressing.

Giggling at his brother’s discomfort, Klaus paused to think. He hadn’t anticipated not actually being allowed to stay at Diego’s... Klaus shrugged. “I’ll get out here.” he declared airily. Diego frowned as he pulled his hands from his ears, looking a tad guilty that he wouldn’t let him stay over. Klaus waited for a moment, hoping Diego would change his mind. Apparently not, as his brother nodded wordlessly. “It’s pretty chilly...” Klaus murmured manipulatively, looking out of the window and pouting. “I’ll drive you to a shelter.” Diego suggested. Klaus scowled at him, disgusted that he’d even consider that a possibility. “You really don’t have anyone to crash with?” Diego asked incredulously. Klaus nodded, even though he knew perfectly well he’d be able to find someplace to stay if he forced himself to try. “A motel would work...” Klaus drawled thoughtfully, hoping Diego would give him some money.

Klaus was so transparent that he’d make a window look opaque. “Get out, you dick.” Diego grunted, refusing to play along with his little games. Klaus huffed and begrudgingly dragged himself from the car. Diego watched on glumly as his brother gestured impatiently for someone to get out from the empty front seat. He hoped it wasn’t _”Ben”_. Klaus popped his head back in the car from the still open door. “Does she use the handcuffs on you?” his brother taunted with a mischievous wink. Diego growled with disgust, wishing he’d kept his hands over his goddamn ears.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll get back to actually writing rather than just posting old stuff when I’m more settled with work and college :) hope everyone is doing okay with returning back to semi-normal life! How are things where you guys live?


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